Random Thoughts: Part 1

There are lots of things that drive me crazy in life. Stupid people who tend to get laid a lot and don't seem to appreciate their (unearned) successes is a big one. Holier-than-thou people who think they're channeling God is another biggie. But what about the small things? People never really write about the really tiny things that drive them nuts in a public forum. I know, we're not approaching a monumentally intellectual topic here, but what the hell.

Here's my list of ten small things (in no particular order) that make me grind me teeth.

1. Japanese RPGs: Just played one called "Lost Odyssey" last night. I played it for a couple hours (just for the achievements) before returning it. Trouble is, it's long gone and the damn thing is still causing me a greater headache than straight tequila shots on an empty stomach.

I know it's wrong to judge an entire genre on the basis of one terrible experience, but frankly, I just don't care. It was bad, and when I say 'bad', I mean BAD! Never before in my life have I played a game where I had to sit through half an hour of dialogue-free introductory cut scene before I was allowed to move my character. And oh yeah, after it finally let me use the controller, I hit a load screen after walking ten feet. *GROAN* The rest of the game was pretty much like that...one big migraine after another.

2. Animal friends with an upset stomach: This one requires little explanation. My 13-year-old cat of monumentally large proportions woke me up at eight in the morning to the sound of vomiting...on my bed. Goddamn you Scooter.

3. People with really bad timing: A girl whom I've been on and off friends with for about a year just got back in touch with me a few days ago saying she wanted to hang out. I know what you're thinking. Why is this bad? She's nice and doesn't hate my guts, so shut up and deal already. The kicker: She moves away for good in a month. Ouch. Now granted, we lived a block away from each other for over ten years and it took me until very recently to even talk to her, but hey, why not blame the opposite sex?

4. Incessant parental nagging: Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, kill me now. I know they mean well sometimes, but after years of casually being talked down to, I've had enough. Too much more and things'll get interesting.

5. Unfair movie reviews: Where is it written that it's acceptable to trash Indiana Jones 4 while embracing Hellboy II? The former was a charming, feel good throwback to the good old days of the '80s while, as near as I can tell, the latter was just a slickly produced CGI-fest/comic book adaptation. Yep, critical taste is dead.

6. Pre-Election season BS: I think every American, excluding comatose people and retards, knows what the candidates stand for at this point in time. There's no need to break out the old bag of tricks again. I think we've been lied to enough over the past 20 years and we don't need any more lies from the people who are supposedly running to stop them. Seriously, let's just ban town hall meetings and TV ads. Un-American you say? Well so is not wearing a flag pin or praying to a deity with a different skin tone. Go ahead and tell me my exclusion is more childish than yours. I dare you.

7. MSN relationship advice columns: I swear to God that if I see another article on 'Ten Ways to Make your Man Forget His Own Name', I'm going to shoot myself in the head. I can't believe people are paid to write this sh*t. It's bad enough that psychologists get to do it and get paid for it, but to let a bunch of teehee squad morons with more chest weight than brains do it is just unacceptable.

8: Gossip magazines: This falls hand-in-hand with number seven. I don't give two sh*ts about who my next-door neighbor is porking. Why am I supposed to care who some collagen obsessed idiot is getting friendly with in L.A. County? You let me know once you've figured that out.

9. Political correctness: George Carlin surely said it better than I'll ever be able to, but beating a dead horse never gets old, especially when it gets people talking about it. I'll be as plain and concise as I possibly can here. Death is death, not a 'cessation of brain function'. An idiot is an idiot, not a 'developmentally disabled person' or 'mentally challenged individual'. That last one bothers me. You'd think a smart person would be stimulated by mental challenge, so that one is just plain confusing. Anyway, you get the idea. Let's just all say what we mean and not be so dodgy about it that we'll forget to walk straight in the morning.

10. Hypocrisy. I know, we're all hypocritical...including me. But it never ceases to make me mad when I'm having an argument with someone and they blatantly tout their hypocrisy at me. It's almost like I'm being mocked, and I hate being mocked. But that's for another list and another day. For now, let's just say that everyone should be consistent and not act like an ass to one-up somebody in a debate.

Anyway, that's my list. While not terribly meaningful, verbose or high society, I think it conveys exactly what I wanted it to. I hope you enjoyed it.

Part 2 is forthcoming.